Malaysia

Day 1: Penang to Langkawi

Having jetted over from Penang on a two hour hover-ferry-of-sorts we arrived in the duty free haven of Langkawi with great expectations of cheap booze, great beaches and cracking snorkelling.

At the ferry terminal we used our India haggling skills to cause a face off between two rival hire merchants thereby resulting in us hiring a rather fetching 0.6L Daewoo sports car at a very reasonable price. Thus we hit the road with a hairdryeresque roar from our sewing machine on wheels. And then we did what all good couples do when they get into a hire car and head off into the sunset. We had an argument about which way to go!

Our little car:

Once directions were resolved we headed to our beach destination of Pantai Cenang on the other side of the island. After checking in to a rather reasonable room complete with beach view, fridge and television we made the most of the exceptionally cheap beer and stocked the fridge with tiger. We then sat, drank some beer and watched the rain fall onto our nice beach. Whilst Em bemoaned the fact that she still hadn’t had a good tanning session.

That night we went to a traditional Malay drinking establishment: Debbie’s Irish Bar. Which was full of homesick Irish drinking overpriced Guinness. Needless to say we took part in the festivities and felt somewhat worse for wear the next morning.

Day 2: Post Monkey Tensions (PMT)

Our second day on Langakawi continued in the same rainy vain as the first, thus we decided to make the most of our hire car and explore the island.

Our first stop was a place called the seven wells. So named because there are seven natural pools (we only counted 3 though) connected by rock which you could slide down as the channels were very smooth. The lonely planet had made them sound like a natural water theme park. However, it failed to mention the multitude of monkeys which greet tourists as they begin there trek up the 700ish steps to the pools. I decided to be brave and walk straight through the throng of monkeys which didn’t seem too aggressive. Em followed somewhat reluctantly and was faced with the biggest monkey of the lot who must have smelt fear as he began chasing her back down the hill. “Siiiiiiimmmonnnnn!!” echoed. A rather scary experience – Emma adds. Whilst I did what all good boyfriends should do; I stood and laughed (whilst secretly thinking “thank god that big bugger didn’t head for me!”) Needless to say Emma was unimpressed with this ungallant act and then demonstrated PMT for the remainder of the walk.

After the pools we headed to some more beaches, some of which we couldn’t gain access to as they were now privately owned. However, we did make it to a really lovely beach on the far side of the island. Although, by this point it was chucking it down. No tanning to be done today. We then headed back to the ferry terminal for which would be the first of our 3 visits to sort out our ferry and bus tickets back to Kuala Lumpur. Needless to say we became unimpressed with the set-up by the time we had to head there for a third time; you could only buy a ticket one day before the day of travel. However this did mean we could pick up some more cans of 30p Tiger and 6 pound bottles of Bombay (Mumbai?) Sapphire Gin.

Day 3: No sunbathing today, again.

We rose to find bright blue skies and no rain clouds in sight. Thus it was with much reluctance that Em clambered back into the hire car to return to the fantastic beach we’d visited in the rain the previous day. When we arrived there she was further denied any tanning time as I persuaded her to come trekking through the sea on sand banks and try out our new snorkels. Unfortunately the water was murky and thus snorkelling was a waste of time. It was still good fun to be 500 metres out to see and only knee deep in water.

Upon returning to the beach Em at last managed to set up camp and begin some serious tanning. However, after 5 minutes the clouds then appeared and it started to rain. She was not amused at my ability to minimise anytime spent on a sunny beach. And so we headed back to our beach hut via the highest point on the island which provided us with some great views of clouds.

Pantai Cenang was a fairly touristy place but with some excellent places to eat and shop. On our third night we enjoyed one of our nicest meals in Malaysia and to give it that authentic feel it was served to us by ladyboys. Thus we experienced the ladyboy double take which has you initially thinking that you have been served your food by a nice Malay lady. “Wait a minute those hands are quite big, those shoulders are quite broad, I think she could have me in a fight, now isn’t that an adams apple; wait a minute I think that may be a man!” Still they made very good waitresses and are probably hired on the basis that they can carry twice as many plates, open bottles with their teeth and sort out any rowdy customers whilst providing a female(ish) guise. The perfect waitress?

Us on the beach outside our beach hut:

Day 4: Bus station nightmares

We had enjoyed our time in Langkawi but had hoped for better weather and better snorkelling. It is well worth a visit but is quite touristy. Thus we much preferred the Perhentian islands with its clear blue skies and crystal clear water. ‘Whose silly idea was it to leave the Perhantian islands anyway?’ Em asks as she is forced to tramp round the whole of Malaysia under the guise that “we may never come back to Malaysia so we should see lots of it”!!

Another ferry took us to the main land where we became stranded in Kuala Perlis as our bus had broken down. Thus we sat for 3 hours and watched half hourly buses bound for Kuala Lumpur come and go unable to board as we had ‘the wrong ticket’ and had to wait for ours to arrive. For once we were organised and had bought our tickets in advance; what a mistake. There must be a bout 5 different tour operators running exactly the same service and we had picked the one which broke down. Luckily we managed to get onto another bus after much badgering of Bus company workers and we headed back to Kuala Lumpur to begin our journey to Singapore.

Sunset at Pantai Cenang:

Enough rambling, hope summer is still sunny for you all back in the UK.

Love Em & Si xxx

Dear All,

Sitting proudly at the bottom of the attractiveness scale sits the ginger male. However, there are a few things in this world that do indeed love the ginger male.

Firstly there are Grannies who look upon a ginger bonnet and proclaim “Ooo, I wish I had hair like yours” and “What a lovely hair colour”. The main reason for this love of ginger hair can probably be assigned to cataracts which are well known to distort the colours we see. Thus ginger becomes the ultimate blue rinse!

Secondly we have mosquitoes. Which on our travels have regularly feasted on the fair skinned vessel of the ginger male.

Finally, and most importantly we come to the bed bug… During a cold and dark night in Penang lay two medical students trying to sleep despite the all night rave going on next door. Whilst beneath the sheets secreted snugly in an ageing mattress (unbeknown to said medical students who were very pleased with their traditional Malaysian styled room) lay a battalion of bed bugs! The sentry spotted him first. Word travelled fast from private up to commander, teeth were sharpened and horns were blown as the cry went out from the massed throng; “We got ourselves a ginger.” They had read of such mythical creatures, some had even seen pictures on the internet, many had dreamed and some had prayed for the coming of a ginger banquet. Whilst the students slept the bed bugs launched their night attack and feasted greedily to the nightclub beat of Malaysian Techno.

Casualties of war: Simon bed bug bites = 200
Emma bed bug bites = A big fat 0!!!

Same bed, same length of time in said bed, same sheets, same mattress on the same night – is there any justice in this world for the ginger male???

The next morning a very itchy and angry Simon demanded free accommodation at said Malaysian hotel which was granted by the very apologetic Chinese owner not wanting to lose his glowing write-up in the Lonely Planet. Financial times were hard with Simon only charging 5p per bed bug bite, the things students do to save 10 pounds.

And now onto Penang itself…

World Music Festival: One of the main reasons for leaving the island paradise of the Perhentian islands was the prospect of an evening of world music. Thus we dressed in our best/cleanest clothes and having learned our lightening lesson from Tamen Negara packed our umbrellas, having seen a few streaks of lightening on the horizon, and headed with much enthusiasm to the botanical gardens on the outskirts of Georgetown (the capital of Penang). We boarded the free bus to the festival at which point it started to rain. “We have our brollies, clever us, we’ll be fine”. However, we were proven to be wrong and regretted not packing our emergency ponchies as the rain started to get heavier and heavier. After 5 minutes of standing outside the festival gates we were soaked to the skin as the rain bounced off the floor with such force that it soaked us from the feet upwards. Luckily we hadn’t bought our tickets and so we were able to flee from the washed out scene. Unfortunately the free buses were only one way and so despite our pleas of “we’ve come to the world music festival by mistake” we had to get an expensive taxi back to bed bug central. After a quick dry we headed for some nice food and a great cup of coffee which warmed away some of our disappointment.

Apart from our world music festival disappointment and the constant itchy reminder of bed bugs we did enjoy our time in Georgetown. It had a very colonial feel to it and was a good place to mooch around. The Eastern oriental hotel, built by the same brothers who built Raffles in Singapore, was a beautiful air conditioned haven which made us want for large pay checks to fund bed bug free luxury travel. The Penang museum was also excellent, with some great exhibits showing traditional Penang life – no bed bug exhibits though - and for anyone visiting we would highly recommend it. On a culinary note having had our best Thai meal in India we now had our best Indian meal in Malaysia at a lovely restaurant called Rice and Spice. On an historical note Emma’s granddad had once lived in Penang, very near to our hostel, and worked in the local hospital. We liken his time to something similar to the last King of Scotland although we are fairly sure that he wasn’t working for any dictators nor was he involved in any bloody coups.

Eastern and Oriental Hotel:

Trishaws in Penang:


We left Penang on the highspeed ferry to Langkawi with hopes of good beaches, great weather and a chance to try out our newly aquired snorkel gear. One final cultural note: whilst on the ferry to Langkawi Emma had the window seat whilst Simon sat next to her in the second of 4 seats. After much dithering of two Islamic ladies, dressed in full traditional black clothing, the husband asked if Emma and I could swap seats so that they wouldn’t have to sit next to Simon. Was the lady unable to sit next to a man due to her cultural/religious beliefs or should she be added as number 4 to things who love ginger males? She may have found being too close to be too much.

Missing you all,

Em and Si xxx

Dear All,

Having negotiated India and then the leeches we were certainly ready for some relaxing and stress-free holiday time (I know you were all beginning to feel sorry for us.) And boy did we find the place to do it!

We escaped from the jungle on a bus then reached our island via a very bumpy and slightly hairy hour long boat ride from the mainland. Having selected our accomodation from brief descriptions in the Lonely Planet we eagerly awaited arriving at our remote island retreat. We were not disappointed as we pulled up to a beach with clear blue waters, white sand, cold orange juice on arrival and a hut over-looking it all.

The view from our hut:

Desperate to get in the sea with changed into our swimming gear and waided our bright white bodies into the gently lapping warm water; heaven! The evening followed with simple malay food, Tiger beer and continuation of our Rummy card tournament (which I am winning 2-0).

The following morning after a substantial lie-in we headed round the coast to turtle beach (a 10 minute walk) for a sunbathe and snorkel. As you can see below it was picturesque and we were very pleased with our choice of location... More beer, food and cards followed that evening (now 3-0 to me!)

Keen to see some of the marine life we signed up to a snorkelling trip for the following morning. We were astounded at what we saw. First stop we saw a turtle, which was over a metre long, grazing on the sea floor; such a graceful creature despite its size and a first for both Simon and I. Then to some amazing coral with an array if sealife (too many to mention) via shark point (where we infact saw no sharks) and finally to 'the best snorkelling spot in Malaysia!' Surley not, it cant get any better we thought. But it did... We pulled up to a grim looking lighthouse and donned our snorkels and flippers into the sea again. Here we entered a Disney picture perfect under-water world. Coral, fish and colours like we only see in Finding Nemo. It was stunning; every shape, size and colour of fish were there in huge shoals. If only we had an underwater camera!

However 4 hours in the sun took its toll on us with both suffering with bad sunburn (me in particular as Simon was wearing a t-shirt; I was likened to a barbers pole). It was all too exciting to think of suncream in between the locations. So the following day we retreated to the shade, read books and discussed our next move. It was time to leave with lots of Malaysia still left to see.

To make the most of our last we day we went for one last snorkel the morning before our boat at 12 noon. We were in the sea by 7.30am and after an hour were disappointed with what we hadn't seen; we were in search for the friendly sharks everyone talked about. Near to calling it a day we spotted a black tipped tail of a shark; from there on in there was no stopping us! 3 sharks, 1 stingray, a family of Nemo's (AKA Clown fish), bright blue little ones, multicoloured big ones and millions of silver tiny ones. What a way to leave our island!

We were for once organised after our early start and had a relaxing half an hour in hammocks and on deck chairs before our boat arrived.

Reluctantly we waided our now red, white and slighty brown bodies onto the overfilled speedboat (capacity 12, actual 25; almost felt like we were in India again) to take us back to reality. We are now in Kota Bahru, an uninspiring town in North Malaysia ready to head to Penang tomorrow to a World Music Festival!

Bye for now, wish you could have been here...

Emma

Dear All,

Lessons to be learnt in the jungle:
1) "My that lightening looks pretty, it really brightens up the place."
"Shall we take our umbrella with us?"
"No I don't think we'll need it, its just a short boat trip and walk."
Followed by the most almighty of thunderstorms that left us wet and almost set the floating restaurant, that we fled to, adrift. We were also forced to buy emergency yellow ponchoes that made us look like two wet versions of big bird from Sesame street.
Lesson: always take waterproofs/umbrella to a rain forest.

2)"Is that a leech?"
"Yeah I think it is."
"Wow look at it move, its heading straight for you."
"It is the little critter, quick film it!"
Meanwhile the other leeches hanging out in the local vacinity:
"Is that a tourist?"
"Yeah there's two of them, there watching Larry."
"That stupid ginger one has got his camera out."
"Good old Larry he gets them every time!"
"To the legs boys, time for some leeching."
Followed by numerous leeches attaching themselves to our shoes and trousers. One almost attached itself to my head when Emma tried to flick it off my trousers but only succeeded in catapulting it off the elastic of my sock towards my head. Thankfully I headed it into the jungle.
Lesson: never stop to film a leech.

Our time in Taman Negara was a short but very enjoyable one. After our first night thunderstorm faux pas we rose from our jungle hut clad in beige and sparkly walking shoes (when in Rome?) ready for some trekking.

New Merrels

We took our hostel boat to the national park and set out on our trek to the canopy walkway; a 45 minute walkway set highup in the trees. Within our first 2 strides we began to sweat and this sweating theme continued unabated for the rest of the day, increasing and decreasing in its severity. When we read in the guide book that humidity was high in the rainforest we didnt think that much of it. However, after 5 minutes of gentle walking you realise in human terms that this means you're going to sweat like a fat lad at the Taj Mahal (We had seen a rather large gentleman at the Taj Mahal, who will remain nameless as we dont know his name, and he was exceptioinally sweaty. Thus he has come to symbolise extreme sweatiness). Thus we merrily sweated our way to the canopy walkway, we merrily sweated our way around half the canopy walkway, which was really good and pretty high, as half of it was, typically, closed for repairs.

The canopy walkway:

Then we decided to follow a trail to the top of a hill for a good view of the river and its rapids. This is when the sweating really kicked in. Thank goodness for eyebrows. When we finally reached the top of the hill we realised that the walk hadn't really been worthwhile but we felt healthy after a good sweat. A quick nibble on some dry biscuits and then we began our descent into the depths of leech hell.

Sweaty Bettys:

Luckily for us we had heeded the warnings of the locals who had told us that after heavy rains the leeches can be pretty bad. Thus we had socks tucked into long trousers and were wearing shoes. (Unlike some of the boob tube, miniskirted and flip flopped ladies we saw skipping around the jungle like some Chav amazons (Chavazons?) who we suspect are still in the jungle somewhere being sucked dry by leeches). Therefore, despite the leech onslaught (they move like slinkies with evil intent) following our filming we were able to flick them off with Em's leech stick and escape unsucked albeit with leech fear.

Land of the flying leeches:

Now leech fear is an interesting phenomenom for it makes people who walk slowly begin to walk exceptionally quickly. It also makes people who dont like hill walking charge up hills like they dont even exit. Emma is one of these people and with a good dose of leech fear I could hardly keep up to her. There were effectively scorch marks in Em's tracks as she blasted on the homeward path. We were only allowed to stop for breath for a quick leech inspection and then we were off again. Thus our walk took us about 2 hours for the first 2km and then 15 minutes for the second 2km.

However, such a revelation can be very useful to someone who has collected a sizeable collection of leeches for future usage. Thus the cat is out of the bag and when Em needs to be hurried up a leech may mysteriously appear by her shoe. "Is that a leech?" "Oh my god!!". Leech fear strikes and boom Em will be off like the clappers. Thus no more long drawn out trips to the shops, no standing idly looking longingly through the windows of jewellery shops, no more stopping for a quick chat....the possibilities are endless. They may also be constructive. Em and I are considering doing the Great North Run next year and with a good dose of leeches at the starting line I reckon she could get under 1:30. Great stuff.

Enough nonsense. We departed Tamen Negara on the Dutch bus surrounded by 15 Dutch people who chatted on in their bizarre langauge as we sped merrily towards the prospect of beaches.

Bye for now
Simon & Emma

Dear All,

Having arrived safe and sound in Kuala Lumpur. Albeit slightly frazzled as the previous entry may hint at. We spent a couple of days exploring its sights and sounds. As our first impressions had suggested it was a clean, modern and fairly quiet city when compared with Dehli. We merrily ventured around its street marvelling at the lack of people. the lack of hassle and the lack of filthiness. However, it soon became apparent that Kuala Lumpur lacked quite a lot and we began to worry that Malaysia was going to provide us with a sanitised travel experience. Dare I say it, after previous statements to the contrary, but we missed India. Come back street hawkers I'll buy your silly pipes, come back rickshaw dirvers I'll let you rip me off; just please take me back to India!! (A main point of interest regarding KL is getting around it. It took a while to grasp that its a very small city and that we were getting trains and taxis a very short and walkable distance. Thus we started to come round to the idea that maybe we should start walking. After all they were such short distances. Wrong!!. Walking in KL is not meant to occur and wishing to move from point A to point B can entail heading via point F, P and U whilst having to negotiate 6 lane highways, railway stations and rivers.)

The plot thinned as we decided to leave KL and head northward to the jungle. An organised bus tour would make life easier and indeed it did. However, we were forced to join the middle aged beige brigade complete with various zippy trousers that allowed them to transform a simple pair of beige trousers into various things: shorts, crap err sorry crop trousers, y-fronts, thongs, scrabble sets etc. Amazing things!

Beige brigade boat bonanza

Thus we bumbled along in complete comfort and with complete ease to catch our boat to the jungle of Taman Negara. Whilst awaiting our jungle transporter we sat on our rucksacks surrounded by various brands of spotless sandal and walking shoes, feeling as if we had mistakingly signed up for a ramble through the Yorkshire dales rather than a trip to the deadly jungle. Although we were both sitting on our sparkly new pairs of walking shoes. However, they were kept well hidden for fear of being tarred with the same beige brush. Although I'm sure we'll be there some day in the future clad in beige with a multitude of zips. It seems to be a natural progression. Although I pray to god that I wouldn't be there wearing matching sonic the hedgehog hats (have you still got those dad??).

Our boat arrived and with it a sense of interest in Malaysia. The 3 hour trip up the river to the heart of the jungle (geographically it may not have been the centre but for a sense of drama please assume that all jungle references refer to its centre, and maybe even complete darkness with a hint of fear) was really worthwhile and a very relaxing way to start our adventure....

Enjoying the River boat trip